1. I use forms but charge you as if I did it from scratch.
2. I hand off work to peons but charge you a lawyer’s rate.
3. My Ivy League education doesn’t make me a better lawyer.
4. I hope you don’t look too closely at the expense report.
5. You don’t really need me.
6. My fee is negotiable.
7. You’re always on the clock.
8. I don’t know much about the law.
9. I don’t refer you to the best lawyers.
10. Your bill is only a guesstimate.
11. I don’t have to tell you how I screwed up in the past.
12. I put on a tough act but that won’t actually help your case.
13. Mediation might be the better choice.
14. I can’t easily fire you as a client.
15. I’m training junior attorneys on your dime.
16. I’m a dime a dozen.
The most of these are pretty straightforward, but it's nice to see them altogether. :)